The last few weeks have been taxing. Kids have been sick, the weather has been
stinky and I’ve had my fair share of waiting on things unmanageable and
unrestrained.
I’m a planner and when plans go askew due to forces out of
my control, I become undone. In the
past, this moved me to anger, discomfort and utter frustration. While today, I still deal with those same feelings,
I’ve learned that having three kids and staying home lends itself to a certain
percentage of uncertainty.
Circumstances have caused us to stay at home quite a bit
over the last week. I don’t mind being
home in general – it’s my job really – the physical aspect of being home is not
a serious issue to me. What I’ve
struggled with is getting through the illnesses and changes and asking myself,
“Why do we need to get through this? Why
us? Why another derailment – especially so
close to the last one?”
A wise friend asked me recently, “Why does God want you
home, Jen?” I couldn’t answer the
question. But doesn’t God know
best? If these interruptions are what
have forced us to stay home and embrace the serenity (if you want to call it
that) of this gift of home and the resources we have, then maybe that is fine.
We had one of the best weekends I can recall in a long time
– all because we had to stay home and enjoy each other’s company. The kids spent both days outside nearly all
day. I sat on the deck and drank iced
coffee and read. Jerry and I conversed. We ate every dinner outside. Without trying, we made the best of the
change in our plans and somehow we are better for it.
While I don’t always like it, I’ve come to realize that when
God changes our plans it is always for our good. From the simple, but mind blowing leaving the
house too late and realizing that you would have been in that serious car accident,
to the weighty life-changing pregnancy that you weren’t sure about. And now you look at your sweet daughter and
realize that life wouldn’t be this rich, crazy, bundle of goodness without
her.
We go kicking and screaming when our plans change, but if we
can find the gratitude and lose the attitude, God always shows us that his ways
are so much better.
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