Thursday, October 18, 2007

Don't Let it Get Away I've been subconsciously avoiding this topic for awhile because it means that I have to admit something to myself - that Kayla is growing up and time is flying forward at light speed. I've been sort of watching it all happen out of the corner of my eye in denial as if somehow avoiding this topic will prevent that truth from occurring. But it is happening. In some ways I don't even recognize my baby. She talks is complete sentences now and some of the things we talk about are even surprising to me. With the new baby on the way it reminds me that in some ways she will be forced to grow up a little bit more. This makes me sad, but in the same way I know it will be good for her. She pats my belly and says hi to "baby brudder" just about everyday. Yesterday she asked if baby brudder could come out and play dinosaurs with her. Today she said "he really wants out, right now!" When we told her that she would teach him how to play she just smiled and growled and laughed like she does in her sweet, little excited way. But tonight as I laid down with her as she was falling asleep, all I could see was my baby girl in the half light. Her sweet cherub face filling my view, her little thumb in her mouth, her eyelashes fluttering, fighting the sleepiness. I pulled her close and kissed her. I wished the moment would last forever. In some ways I guess it will - she will always be my baby girl no matter what happens and no matter how old she is.