Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Friday, January 31, 2014

Subtle Deception


I finally started reading my first C.S. Lewis book – The Screwtape Letters. I’ve often wanted to read his classic works about Christianity and haven’t had the chance. I’m only a few chapters into this tale of a senior demon mentoring a junior demon and am struck with the simple deceptions used against humans.
This (just a few short pages into the book) made a huge impression on me: “It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.” Wow, yes, it is the things we forget that often are our downfall. It is God’s truths kept from our minds or replaced with deliberate lies that take us down the wrong path.
How many lies have we believed in this life?
  1. I’m ugly, stupid, no one could love me.
  2. I’m afraid of _____.
  3. This will never work.
  4. I could never do ______.
  5. I will just get sick like everyone else.
Several years back, I started keeping a notebook with two columns in it. The first column listed the lies and the second column listed God’s truths and what he desires for my life. The second column to the above lies looks something like this:
  1. I am a beautiful, intelligent child of God loved by God and by my husband and family.
  2. There is no fear in love for perfect love casts out fear. (rough paraphrase of 1 John 4:18)
  3. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
  4. I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. (rough paraphrase of Philippians 4:13)
  5. I am healthy and strong and my body works the way God intends.
Reading The Screwtape Letters reminds me that when the enemy is keeping the good, right, honest, and true thoughts from our heads, we must bring God’s truths back into the equation.
What truths do you believe are kept from your mind?

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Know More, Love More



Tonight I co-hosted a table at our church’s Advent by Candlelight event - a time to focus on Jesus, the true meaning of the season.  As I looked around the table at the women – some I had just met tonight – others I have had the honor of getting to know over the last several months – I was impressed with God’s love for them moving through me. 
 
As we went through the activities of the night, we shared family traditions.  One woman’s family started asking each other “what does God want for Christmas?”  Another shared about the delicious egg strata her mother made each Christmas morning.  One spoke of her family’s traditions – originating from Eastern Europe.  The women spent hours cooking – learning the customary dishes for Christmas.  Each girl initiated into the traditions – it was “woman talk” – a place where you heard the family stories, laughed, hands full of sticky dough.  It was hard work, but significant.

I looked at each woman thinking that as I learned more about them, I had the opportunity to love them more.  When we share ourselves, our story, our true self – where we’ve come from, the depth of who we are becomes rich and beautiful.  To know more is to love more.

I believe that at times God has given me a spiritual love for people as I need it – at times suddenly and almost overwhelmingly.  But more often in life, this sharing of who we are over time is what brings me to that complex, indescribable bond.  Conversely, if a person is guarded and not willing to reveal even a glimpse of herself, I often cannot find love.  I find fault and annoyance and struggle greatly to connect.

Tonight, I looked into each face and found that supernatural love, a gift to my worn soul.  I can’t help but praise God at the gifts of community and love he has given me – something I have prayed for a long time. 

Friday, October 04, 2013

Labyrinth + A Snake = God's Heart



I took a walk yesterday – in a garden – alone (except for the snake) – isolated in the woods.  All things about that statement pretty much terrify me.  I’m not a nature gal, but appreciate it.  I’m rarely alone…so much so that my ears ring when it is quiet.  And snakes – don’t get me started!  I drive into the gardens and trails with an air of fear agitating me.  I pay to park, seeing only a mother and her young boys and the guide in the welcome center.  He says, “Take this path to the labyrinth…it’s…um, just better…you’ll see.”

I step forward, all fear dissipating…the beauty and wonder before me.  It is a blue sky, breezy, sun prism day – early fall, the crunch of leaves under my feet – not cool, not hot.  I head down the path, past the tended gardens, into the woods; enveloped in greenery overhead, beside, in front.  I turn and see the wooden bridge over the algae blanketed pond.  Noises of crickets and katydids welcome me.  I cross and enter the path.  I listen to the babble of the brook, the steady rush of the waterfall into the stream.  

I almost step on his chain-linked pattern body – tiny snake in the path.  He has heard me pounding up and is still…head poised up, listening.  I can’t resist him and stop to take a picture – the only picture of this trip.  He enchants me and I whisper, “You are so cute!”

I twist and turn on the path…the leaf and tree markers a blur in my peripheral.  As much as I would like to read them all and linger, I’m keenly aware of my mission and the fact that the sun sets earlier these days and I’m alone in this desolation.  

I approach the last bend before the labyrinth.  I pause at the opening and read – instructions, etiquette.  Labyrinth – “an intricate combination of paths or passages in which it is difficult to find one's way or to reach the exit.  A maze of paths bordered by high hedges, as in a park or garden, for the amusement of those who search for a way out.” (www.dictionary.com)  While this is the formal definition of the area I am about to enter, I made the pilgrimage here to find something and rest in the confidence that I am not lost.  In fact, I am sure I am found.

I pray as I walk into the limestone labyrinth path…silently, surely…trudging quietly; grasshoppers and locusts spraying outwards from the prairie grass as I disturb their rest; sun warming my face.  I am euphoric in my thanks and praise – not the usual tone of my discourse with God.  I listen, crunching feet, sun hiding in a small rainbow behind a cloud.  God tells me he loves me.  Of course, I knew, but like any relationship, it is important to be reminded.  He keeps saying, “Be quiet, my child.”  Why is this so hard for me, for us?  I prattle on in my mind.  I pray quietly and slowly.  In the middle of my quest God says, “I am mighty and strong and it would do you well to remember.”  Oh how often I have forgotten!  Put God in a box – limit him to my own understanding of the circumstances and situation.  And when we hurt – don’t we restrict him further?  Our pain in constant focus and his universe blurred, distorted…greatness lost in our human amnesia.

Somehow this makes me laugh – because I am his child and there is a bit of scolding in his voice.  I promise that I will remember.  I reach the center of the labyrinth.  I sit in the quiet – sun blazing past the cloud…I move to another boulder, to feel the heat on my back.  

I don’t want to walk out, but I perceive the sun sinking.  I am quiet now and I hear the words to an old, old song my mom sang in church.  I see a shadow pass over me – a hawk.  The song echoes in my memory, “And he will raise you up on eagle’s wings, bear you on the breadth of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of his hand.”  A reminder, promise, wonder, majesty, glory, our smallness, his infiniteness. 
 
I take the sunny path back through the prairie grasses.  I hear the crackly, ocean-like sound of the breeze blowing through the birch trees.  This experience so ordinary from the outward appearance, such mystery, and over abundant gift to my inner psyche.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When We Begin


This past weekend I was privileged to participate in a spiritual retreat - Good News Via de Cristo.  It was an amazing experience that I recommend to all Christians.  This poem was my response to one of the talks where God's love for us was described so beautifully. 

When we begin, God is there.

Watching, loving, in wonder.

He holds our future in His hands.

He makes our plans and they are good, amazing, incomprehensible, beyond our imagination.

In all things good and bad, close and far, his banner for us is love…

Always love, love, love, love – a flag over us.

In baptism we begin our relationship.

We take His name – we, His beloved.

Our marriages and soul ties to family and close friends a hazy glimpse of the mystery.

This life abundant – more than we can create or plan or imagine.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Bread & Wine Book Review



One of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist, just wrote a new book – Bread & Wine – A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes.  When I heard that I could get an advanced copy and write a book review, I was ecstatic and jumped at the chance! 



My best, brightest, and most positive memories are around the table.  While that includes the big holidays like Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving at my Grandparent’s house, it also includes the simple day-to-day gatherings.  I remember laughing until I cried many nights at my childhood home over any typical weeknight dinner – pizza or meatloaf or porcupine meatballs.  Five kids and my parents telling funny stories and barely resisting spitting out our food or milk in fits of silliness. 
 

I remember afternoons when a neighbor would show up and there would inevitably be coffee and a snack – around the common kitchen table – never in the living room.  I remember holidays at my husband’s childhood home when we were dating and first married – in-laws and siblings and nieces and nephews cackling and telling the same stories over and over – crammed into spaces too small and nobody minding the tables between us. 
 

I can see the table with splattered food that reached to the walls, ceiling and floor when our three were little – loud and crying, and spilling and even in that chaos, I see myself smiling, remembering.  I see Jerry and I at our favorite Italian restaurant, the elderly waiter singing in Italian, the wine glass in my hand, smiling and toasting and basking in my wonderful husband’s love. 
 

Around the table I see the people I hold onto and love. Even when there is illness or pain or confusion or heartbreak or tension in the everyday, when we are around the table, we can laugh and tell those same stories – the ones that knit us together in an unbreakable bond. 
 

Shauna’s books have always met me where I am – right in the midst of the same seasons in my life.  Cold Tangerines met me in the joys of my life, Bittersweet met me during the heartache, and Bread & Wine weaves together all of those good times and bad, highs and lows into this everyday necessity that is so much more than eating, but nourishment for both the body and soul.  All of her books have left me crying at one point and close to throwing them across the room at another – digging deeply into the wonder and joy and striking the chord of pain and suffering. Bread & Wine is no exception. 
 

The chapter entitled “Start Where You Are” has become my new theme.  I’m an all or nothing person, so I want to immediately start and master the next big thing with gusto – controlling all its parts and accomplishing remarkable things.  But the truth is that I have to start where I am – take small steps to move in that direction that results in those remarkable things – whatever they are.  Running starts with walking and jogging and then logging miles – but never in an instant or even over a single month.  Writing starts with single words strung into sentences that result in moving thoughts and change producing vision.
    

“Open the Door” is a chapter that reminds me that true authenticity when opening your home is being who you are in your own space even if your space is like mine – perma-crumbs on the floor, dishes forever by the sink, laundry baskets acting as multicolored living room accessories, splatters on the bathroom mirror.  My mother always welcomed neighbors and friends in the front door even when she was in her pajamas, even when the kitchen was undone from the last meal, even when we kids had left toy after toy strewn in the living room.  The door was always open and I aspire to have that open door policy, in hopes that people will understand and know that they can come as they are to this place where I am who I am.


I have a set of Russian dolls – much like the one that Shauna refers to in the chapter of the same name.  They sit on my mantle – six elegantly decorated ladies all tucked into each other.  In this chapter, she brought me to tears with this – looking through pictures of her Grandparents with her Grandmother.  Her Grandmother said that she remembered just how that thirteen year old felt and that nineteen year old bride felt and that thirty year old on the motorcycle felt.  “She said you carry them inside you, collecting them along the way, more and more selves inside you with each passing year, like those Russian dolls, stacking one inside the other, nesting within themselves, waiting to be discovered, one and then another.”   And in that moment tears welling out of me, I realized that all of those selves I’ve collected along the way are lost – that I don’t know them anymore, that I seldom look back and reflect and remember and reach deeply into myself to stack them all together and come to the full realization of who I am today because of them.  Some of the baggage those selves have collected needs to laid down and some of that past joy and wonder, and fun-loving personality need to be picked up.  I sobbed realizing that in doing this, it will change the person I am today and I so desperately need that.   Whenever I look at my Russian dolls, I will remember. 
 

The chapter entitled “Take this Bread” brings home to me what it means to live this life around the table, acknowledging our physical limitations by taking the time to sit around the table for bodily nourishment.  But it doesn’t end there – although our culture pushes us to use mealtimes as quick fuel stops for the body – it goes much deeper than this.  The table nourishes our body and soul and brings us together in that singular place where we are all one.  Shauna’s friend Shane so eloquently says – “bread is the food of the poor and wine is the food of the privileged, and that every time we see those two together, we are reminded of what we share instead of what divides us.” Yes! This physical and spiritual act of communion – sharing bread and wine is the heart of this book – the table that brings us together – but only if we fight for it and cherish it and allow ourselves to be open to it.


The recipes – so fun and delicious!  I made the Basic Vinaigrette and loved the simplicity of it.  My next go around I will adjust the acidity using less balsamic vinegar and more olive oil, but I have tried the original recipe on Greek salad and chicken and potatoes and enjoyed them immensely.  I will likely buy a better jar for it – my jelly jar has a high maintenance lid, which results in more mess than I care for.
 

The Goat Cheese Biscuits were out of this world!  I do not have a cast iron skillet – but now after making this I am inspired to purchase one.  They were dense and rich without being over the top.  I gobbled up four in one evening – I couldn’t resist!  (Looking forward to eating more with eggs for breakfast!) I ended up making 14 biscuits with the recipe instead of 12.


Overall, Bread & Wine is a real treasure of the mind, heart, and mouth.  Each chapter weaves together a beautiful tapestry of how the everyday table is one of the richest and most beautiful places to be. 


I was given a free, advanced copy of Bread & Wine to review.  However, my opinions are my own. 


Shauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.