Wednesday, January 23, 2008

It Won't Be Long Now I'm counting the days until little Zachary John makes his appearance. Everything is going well. The midwives think that he is much smaller than Kayla was and he is head down and ready to go. Everyday seems slow when waiting for something this big to happen. I hate that I just used such a simple word as "big" to describe giving birth and the experience of raising another child. In truth the magnitude of it all is alluding me at the moment. I'm just trying to take one day at a time. Everything is ready - at least physically - his room, clothes, even diapers and wipes all loaded up into the changing table. My bag and his are packed. Yet everyday I keep wondering, am I ready? Mentally ready? I'm trying to stay positive, to take the memory of the chaos of those first few weeks with Kayla in perspective. To remember that I was new to everything and at least this time there are only some aspects that are completely new. Like the fact that he is a completely different person - with a different personality and habits among many other things of course. I'm not sure what I had to say in this post that is very profound, but more just me trying to grasp the stillness and quiet before this joyous change. It reminds me more than ever that I have to trust God in all things. He has given me the gift of this little boy. Zachary John means "remembered by a gracious God." Because he has remembered me, I know that he will be with me through this.

1 comment:

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

I LOVE the name you have chosen. Wonderful.

It is so good to keep reminding yourself that it IS going to be challenging in those early days and weeks. And months, if I'm being honest. But at the same time, you know you aren't alone AND you have been down this road before. I think you'll find in many ways the path is smoother this time. It's tough at times, no doubt! But you've got some great experience to fall back on as well.

I love January babies, by the way. My precious baby Dacey turns three on MONDAY! EEEK!