Thoughtful Tuesday 10/4/11
Every Tuesday I try to put something out here to get us all thinking about different ways to approach this life. Let’s think countercultural, against the norm, “weird”, unpopular, but most of all thought provoking.
I’ve been very conscious about how it seems that my words don’t match my actions these days. I have the incredible gift of being home with my children every day. I tell them I love them, but it seems that my actions, at times, tell a different story. How do I get past this? What can I do to turn it all around?
How do you demonstrate that you love the people around you in everything that you do?
2 comments:
I think when you spend all day with your kids, you, leave yourself open for this kind of self-examination. (and that's not a bad thing!) I definitely struggle with this too! I just finished reading a book called Parenting on Purpose by Jason Free. It's a very easy read and although it talked about stuff I already knew, he did have some good practical suggestions that would apply to this particular situation.
One thing he talks about is instituting a 4:29 principle (Eph 4:29...talks about no unwholesome talk coming from your mouth, but I think you could carry this over into actions too). When someone in the house is caught doing something that doesn't line up with that principle, all you say is "4:29" as a reminder that that behavior or talk needs to change. It's intended for kids AND parents to call each other out on...I think that's one thing we'll be trying to implement in our family.
I think one of the biggest things is teaching your kids that you screw up just like they do and that you need to apologize for those screw ups just as much they need need to. This is so hard for me because in our house growing up apologies/I-forgive-yous were few and far between...not something my parents really modelled for us. So now, as a parent, I make sure that consciously do that for my kids because I want them to grow up knowing that we all screw up but that we all can be forgiven too!
Also I think praying with and for your kids is huge and letting the kids see you and Jerry pray together too. Really, that's one of the greatest expressions of love right there...putting someone/something into God's hands.
I'd love to hear other people's thoughts too! It really is a hard concept to play out in our lives sometimes!
Thanks, Missy for the time you took to put such a great comment! I'm excited to look up that book and see about implementing 4:29 with our family. I try as often as I can to apologize and say that mommy screwed up. It would be good for us to have a "code" like this to use with everyone in the family. We are not great with praying "with" the kids but more near them or at them. That is something I've been trying to figure out a way to change. The self examination has been good for me and I hope to write about it more here going forward. Thanks again!
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